Francine transformed her life of crime, self-degradation, and confidence to a life that really works and she's got something to say to you and others who are struggling.

In her own words, she says, "At 13, I used razor blades to scrape off my skin, and bleaching cream to remove my color? Why? Because I hated who I was and wanted to be anybody other than me—a poor little black kid from the South Bronx.  I know what self hatred looks like, I know how it feels, I know the horrible toll it takes on a life—any life. And, I know how it feels to love myself—really love myself—warts and all!"

In this age of instant gratification, extreme makeovers, and 15-minute success stories, it's easy to think that self-esteem is all about driving the right car, living in the right house, having the right letters behind your name, being confident & self-assured, and repeating "I love me" mantras in the mirror. In fact, studies show that self-esteem--positive self-regard--comes from behaving in a way that makes you like and respect who you are.  This is what is known as Esteemable Acts.

Esteemable Acts Are More Than a Quick Fix

Most folks don't want to hear about building self-esteem the hard way. Everyone is in search of the quick fix, even if lasts for 5 minutes. Yet, folks are attracted to the results of hard work, of effort. They just don't want to do anything to get it. But studies show, the self-esteem building secret to end all self-esteem building secrets is that there is NO secret to building self-esteem--you simply must do the work--daily!

With only a few dollars and a dream, Francine Ward has taken her message of action, gratitude, accountability, and service to the streets. Ward says, "You get self-esteem by doing Esteemable Acts®"; the operative word is "DOING".

Many self esteem experts tell us we must have confidence in order to accomplish anything worthwhile in life. What a silly and utterly ridiculous statement. The concept of Esteemable Acts takes a contrary view. For many folks, including me, had I waited to feel confident before taking an action, I'd still be waiting. In fact, the opposite was true--I had to take action and THEN my view of me changed.Before you can go about engaging in Esteemable Acts you must prepare yourself with the right mindset.

Here are a few Esteemable Actions:

Stop Buying Into Other People’s Opinions – Stop buying into other people’s opinions about who you are and what you want out of your life. Regardless of your stage of life and the barriers you are breaking through there will always be someone who tells you that you can’t do it.  If you listen to others you will forever be sitting on the sidelines waiting for something to happen.

Stop Being a Victim – There are some major payoffs to being a victim because there is always someone to blame but, you must stop using external influences as an excuse.  As long as you continue to make excuses you will remain stuck where you are.  If you keep doing what you need to do for yourself you don’t have to worry about whether others like you or not.

Success Takes Work – You must understand that change is all about work.  In order to get to the next level in your life you have to be willing to do what is necessary.  It is too easy to escape through drugs and alcohol and if you are not doing that you will find other ways to avoid making a change.  That’s the reason for the term, “Esteemable Acts” instead of “Esteemable Thoughts.”  You have to act if you are going to be successful.

Failure is Not the Worst That Can Happen – We live in a world where we are taught that failure or rejection is the absolute worst thing that can happen.  Instead, the worst thing that can happen to you is that you do not try because you are afraid to fail or make a mistake.  Safe choices are demons because it is really easy to stay stuck in a job you hate or a relationship you can’t stand.  Self-esteem comes from having the courage to risk failure to get to your dream.

Life is About Moments – When you look back on your life you will treasure the moments more than the number of materialistic items you owned.  You are going to treasure the moments you had with the people you love and the experiences you have had.  To create these moments it is necessary to change what you are doing so you can reconnect with the things that are most important to you.

Low Self Esteem is What Keeps You Stuck

Many in our society would have you believe that self esteem is a fluffy topic, a topic only for women, a topic that no one is really interested in.  I would have you believe it goes way beyond the fluff to the heart of what ails us as a culture.  It is the root of what keeps us in jobs we hate, relationships that no longer work, situations that are unhealthy ; low self esteem is what compels us to pretend we are not afraid, yet be controlled by our fear; low self esteem keeps us a prisoner and an observer in our own life—never an active participant.  We settle for seconds when we don’t love ourselves.

Self Esteem Myths  

There are many myths associated with self esteem, here are just a few:

• Self esteem is a woman’s issue;
• Self esteem is the same as confidence;
• Self esteem is the end goal;
• Self esteem comes from something outside of yourself, e.g., right man (or woman), lots of money, living in the right neighborhood, our parents;
• We are born with self esteem;
• Self esteem is all about how we look.

The truth is self esteem is NOT the same as confidence, we are NOT born with it, we CAN’T get it from our mothers or husbands or jobs, men and women BOTH suffer from this malady, it’s not the destination—it’s the journey.

The most compelling and truthful statement about self esteem is what I have discovered from years of hard knocks and even more years of hard work is that self esteem comes from DOING Esteemable Acts®!  

It doesn’t come from thinking or feeling; real and lasting self love comes from doing those things that genuinely make you feel good about who you are. Things like making right choices—especially when it’s hard, living an authentic life, walking through fear, going for your dreams, having a dream, taking care of your health, making you as important as you make others, having a consciousness of giving.